Overheard in Warsaw: “Polish people don’t understand [your] sarcasm. You just scared the shit out of

Was the quote of the trip. And being that it was a three-week stay, that’s an impressive achievement. I had the unique opportunity to meld personal and professional plans this summer and go work/tour abroad for about a month. I’d been meaning to see family in Warsaw and, after 2 previously cancelled attempts, I was not about to return to Europe without visiting them. The actual experience of Warsaw city surpassed by any expectation. Well, if I’m being honest, I’m not sure if I had any expectations to begin with, having never seen any pictures of this city or country, really. I just knew that I was going, and my mind was completely open to whatever I’d come across.

I came across FUN. A lot of it. In all different ways. There was the fun of spending quality time with loved ones. The fun, and pride, of seeing what an intelligent and promising young man my cousin had become. The fun of Old Town, of Downtown and of discovering neighboring suburban towns. And of experiencing everyday life as a local—the weekly trips to Carrefour (dunno why I get so excited going to Carrefours around the world, but I do. Insert shrug.), the walk-in to Makro and the surprise of staff being so nice to me, especially when we weren’t speaking the same language (insert another shrug, this time accompanied by a goofy smile), the discovery of Polish breads and doughnuts, enormous shopping malls (some of which contained gun stores, btw. Insert another shrug. And a raised eyebrow.), and the variety of train stations and regional flights that connect you to an endless roster of surrounding destinations, many of which I thought I’d never see in person. While it’s impossible to capture my entire trip in a single blog, I’ll skim the important details and offer a condensed “Best of” list below.

First and foremost, FOOOOOOOOODD:

One of the most surprising “funs” I had was that of discovering the growing vegan trend in the city—in many cities throughout Eastern Europe, actually. Almost every restaurant I visited had vegan options and I saw many restaurants that were wholly vegan. In speaking to locals, I learned that this movement has become popular in recent years for a same environmental reasons its trending up in the States. And considering my experience in Luxembourg with that animal rights group a few years back, I wasn’t the least bit surprised.

• Bar Pacyfik, Warszawa’s take on Latin food. Yes, you can order traditional Polish hot dogs, which (duhh, I totally did), but their broader menu is worth exploring. There’s mac & cheese, tacos and a variety of things I don’t even remember because it took me over 15 minutes to decide on which one of three possible hot dogs I wanted to eat. I do remember the bottle of white wine we ordered, a beautiful, soft German varietal, which I pretty much finished single handedly. This is also the site of the “you just scared the shit out of him” comment, which serves as the ever-so-charming title of this here blog.

About that… I, in my signature fashion, ate everything on my plate. When the server came to collect our dishes and asked how I enjoyed everything, I—in another signature fashion (i.e., adorable social awkwardness)—believed that somehow a sarcastic response would totally be acceptable (even though I knew it wouldn’t) and thoughtlessly answered, “oh, it was just terrible, clearly.” Wowww, are beautiful crystal blue eyes even beautifuler when they’re popped that big in horror.

I immediately and profusely apologized, mea culpa dude, and assumed my ‘big girl voice’ for the remainder of my time there. And ‘by there’, I mean in all of Europe. I never cracked another sarcastic remark in public the rest of my trip.

• Polish breads – I don’t know what it is about them that tastes so good, but they are worth daily consumption. This is no place for carb-phobes, nor should it be. Side note here—Poland, at least Warsaw, is the home of the beautiful people. And I mean Vogue cover-worthy, beautiful people. I see now why model talent scouts were hanging out in Eastern Europe in the ‘90s because, uh, dayum! Naturally gorgeous, tall, slender, blonde folk, especially the women. I felt like a giant potato standing next to them but whaddya gonna do? Me, personally? I just ate more bread. And drank.

• Wines and beers, are what I drank most! Strolling through the liquor alcove at Makro, it was really a hard decision which wine to pick up. There was the most abundant selection of wines from regions that would never reach the US—Israeli, Azerbaijani, Georgian! In case you don’t know, Georgia is known for its wine region, so I picked up a wonderful bottle of red. I said I was gonna save it for a night when the whole family would drink together. That vow lasted a day-and-a-half. At least we got to drink a variety of beers together over the weeks. I had no idea which brands I had, but did opt for local brews whenever possible.

• We had lunch one day at Maika I Woda, an upscale woodfire pizza joint in a happening area of the city. Worth a visit, and a great place for lunch.

• Pierogies. Hey, Americans—authentic Polish pierogies are what we’ve become accustomed to. They are not thick-skinned and not (near) exclusively potato filled. After about 17 times of my family telling me “they’re like dim sum, you know, dumplings?” how on earth could I still have been surprised that they’re like dim sum dumplings?

The Social Scene: The Old, the New, and the Not-so-Old-Afterall

• The city of Warsaw is quite beautiful—a downtown skyline to be reckoned with its own right, albeit contained to a few blocks. There is a collection of huge multinational companies present, though many of them sans architectural pomp and posture we’ve come to expect from major metros. Old Town Warsaw is a charming little time capsule of a place, and somewhere visitors can stay and discover new eateries daily.

• Some must-see Old Town tourist destinations include (all pictured below):

The Royal Castle

Plac Zamkowy, Old Town Market Square and Sigismund’s Column

Plac Zamkowy, Old Town Market Square and Sigismund’s Column

Taraswidokowy Observation Tower – provides a beautiful view of the Old Town square, along with the Vistula River and Śląsko-Dąbrowski Bridge

There’s also an Old Town walk, of sorts, which leads to and beyond Warsaw Barbican – a fort that was used to help defend Warsaw against its many attackers over the centuries:

Little known fact: there is nothing really ‘old’ in Warsaw. Due to the significant damage to the city during WWII, most buildings were razed to the ground and the city left in ruins. Even the most historical looking buildings you see today are roughly only 60 years old. So really, Old Town is quite new.

• The abutting New Town, and the swanky Nowy Świat (‘New World’) Street

Nowy Swiat boasts the eclectic, ‘old world’ charm of Warsaw and is chock full of trendy cafés, bistros, high end restaurants, shoppes and bars of all kinds. This was one of the places I wanted come out to one morning and spend the day working/writing at a trendy café. Ironically, if I recall correctly, this street actually is one of Warsaw’s oldest. This is where you come to shop and chill with friends, go for brunches with the girls, and potentially drop some serious coin on luxury designer shops.

• Church of St. Francis. Self-explanatory, the beauty. I did learn that there’s a church on almost every street in Warsaw, and religion plays a huge role for most people. Each church seemed more beautiful than the last, though St. Francis was the only one I went into. The day we walked the Old Town Path/I saw the majority of churches, we ended our touring at Multimedia Fountain. Quite pretty to see. I imagine spending some time there, repeatedly watching the water show. And we would have, were it not sweltering afternoon heat, only to be interrupted by torrential downpour every time we ventured out from under the safety of an awning. (Literally, every time we were exposed to the sky!)

(This is pure gold, BTW, a testament to the breathtaking beauty of Europes churches, castles and cathedrals.)

• Vistula Boulevards, also referred to as the Promenade. A perfect place to chill and potentially spend a day. There are a variety of restaurants, from casual burger and beer joints to more formal venues, some high-end hotels with riverside restaurants, stadium seating for outdoor events and a host of activities for anyone seeking recreational fun. You can easily make a day of it here, riding bikes, skateboarding, water activities or even walking/jogging the promenade. Great for singletons and families of all sizes. And especially thirsty first-timers to come discover domestic beers :-)

• The one site I didn't see, which apparently is a huge draw for visitors, is the Palace of Culture and Science, smack dab in the middle of the bustling city. Evidently, there's fair bit of controversy around it and abhorration from many of the locals, as this was a gift from Stalin, and many locals view it as an unfair and welcome imprint of the enemy on their city. There is an observation deck/tower, which has an entry fee. The museum also has an entry fee and, if interested, you can get a full day pass that gives you access to all facilities on the grounds.

Sooooo yeah, there’s quite a bit to take in in Warsaw. Next time I go, I may skip the serial country-hopping and instead focus my time exploring more of this beautiful country and its vast landscapes and sceneries.